Friday, May 09, 2008

MATT WALSH REVEALS THE HORRIBLE TRUTH

This is breaking, earth-shattering, life-changing news that needs your full and complete attention!

Matt Walsh has shown the NFL that the New England Patriots have videotaped opponents' hand signals from the sideline!!!

Regained consciousness yet?

I'm as stunned as you are, folks. Matt Walsh has submitted tapes of signals dating back to 2000. In total, he has eight tapes. Reportedly, he also has betting slips showing that Pete Rose bet on sports. He's also got evidence to suggest that Jose Conseco used performance enhancing drugs. And finally, Walshy suspects that OJ Simpson is guilty of murder.

Let's keep an eye on Sherlock Walsh, folks. There's no telling what mysteries and secrets he might uncover.

MAYBE LEBRON IS THE NBA'S A-ROD


LeBron may have ended up with 21 points, but he was still 6 of 24 from the field and turned the ball over 7 times. The Celtics' defense shut him down again, and shut down the rest of the Cavs. That's two straight games under 75 for Cleveland.

But unlike game 1, the Celtics weren't sloppy on the offensive side of the court. Pierce and Ray Allen improved on their previous performances. Pierce had 19 points and 6 rebounds, Allen added 16. Kevin Garnett only had 13 points and 12 rebounds, so expect a Shaughnessy column about how his game 2 performance will bring down his PPG.



Powe came off the bench and had 11 points and 7 rebounds (4 of which were on offense). Rondo had 7 points (all free throws), and 6 assists. The Celtics only had 12 turnovers, as opposed to 23 in game 1.

Of course, the Celtics went up 2-0 on Atlanta, but couldn't beat them on the road. The series shifts back to Cleveland Saturday night, where there will be even more token LeBron fouls called. And if James ever does get going, these games will become very interesting.

Doesn't Jason Bateman look like his daddy has taken him to his first ever basketball game?



And you have to give it up for Leonardo DiCaprio. A lot of celebrities go to sporting events and make a tremendous scene when they go: sitting in the front row in a place where everyone can see them. Ben Affleck is probably the best example of this type of egocentric behavior. But not Leo. He just sits quietly, with his hat low, and watches the game.



Thank you, Mr. DiCaprio, for not being Ben Affleck. In fact, I think everyone should go around today and thank people for not being Ben Affleck.

Source:
ESPN.com

Photo Credits:
Elsa/Getty Images
Brian Babineau/NBAE via Getty Images

JOSH BACK AT IT


Vintage Josh Beckett last night in Detroit. Seven innings, 1 run, no walks, and eight strikeouts for the Red Sox ace. And if not for Clay Buchholz and Julio Lugo, the Red Sox would also have come out of Hockeytown with a 4 game sweep. Beckett also recorded his 1,000th career strikeout.

Kevin Youkilis remains the third hottest thing in our solar system (behind the Sun and Scarlett Johansson). In the last 6 games he is 10 for 23, with 4 doubles, 5 homeruns, and 12 RBI.



Meanwhile, David Ortiz has also started to heat up. His slugging percentage has risen about 100 points since the end of April. He was 2 for 5 with a double. And Mike Lowell seems to be hitting his stride, as he was 2 for 5.

The Sox go up to Minnesota to face the Twins over the weekend. Jon Lester faces Boof "My Parents Hated Me" Bonser.

Source:
ESPN.com

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Duane Burleson