Friday, January 02, 2009

HARRY FRAZEE AWARD FOR GOAT OF THE YEAR

This Award goes to the New England athlete(s) who took the most criticism, guff, and abuse from the fan base, the media, and possibly his teammates. In other words, the player(s) that was most hateable in New England. It's named after former Red Sox owner Harry Frazee, who sold Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees.

The nominees are:

The New England Patriots
Jason Varitek - C, Boston Red Sox
JD Drew - RF, Boston Red Sox
Asante Samuel - CB, New England Patriots
Manny Ramirez - LF, Boston Red Sox

The winner is...

Manny Ramirez!



This is the second, and most likely the last time Manny's won Goat of the Year. Not only did he pull his usual BS, he shoved a Sox employee to the ground over a ticket dispute, and slapped Kevin Youkilis in public. He whined about having options at the end of his contract, refused to play, and was eventually traded. Then he suddenly became healthy and slugged for the Dodgers like a man possessed.

Manny's act wore old in Boston, but not only with the fans. His teammates voted 23 to 1 to trade him away.

Good riddance.

DAN SHAUGHNESSY AWARD FOR WORST SPORTSWRITER

Unfortunately, this was another banner year for bad sportswriting. More sensationalists, more dumbasses, more loudmouths.

The nominees are...

Dan Shaughnessy - Boston Globe
Michael Felger - Boston Herald, WEEI.com
Jemele Hill - ESPN.com
Ken Rosenthal - Fox Sports
John Tomase - Boston Herald
Tony Massarotti - Boston Herald/Boston Globe

Shaugnessy wrote a negative piece on the Celtics because they needed 7 games to beat Atlanta. Felger's evolved into someone who automatically contradicts whatever the general consensus in Boston is. Jemele Hill compared the Celtics to Nazis. Rosenthal wrote that pointless and empty piece about how white the Red Sox are. Tomase, like an excited high schooler on prom night, couldn't wait to bust his story about the Rams' walkthrough that turned out to be false.

But the worst of them all was our winner...

Tony Massarotti.



Whereas the other nominees made glaring mistakes here and there. Massarotti was consistently and habitually Massarotten (that's a horrible play on words worthy of a Boston Globe headline). His columns have developed into critiques on the proletariat of Boston sports fans. His remarks about "repressed middle aged men" in their "Tedy Bruschi jerseys" and all those basement dwelling bloggers out there smacked of elitism and shit-don't-smell-ism.

He's better than every other sports fan in Boston, at least in his mind he is.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ AWARD FOR BIGGEST CHOKE/DISAPPOINTMENT

This Award is one of the more vague ones. It can be given to an individual, a team, an executive, a group of players, anyone really. I named it after A-Rod because we all know he’s a choker.

This year there is no need for nominations. We all know who the winner (loser) is...

The New England Patriots



The Pats were on the verge of history. They were about to win their 4th Super Bowl in 6 years, and do it with an unblemished record. They had beaten Dallas, Indianapolis, San Diego (twice), the Jets (twice), Pittsburgh, Washington, the Giants, and Jacksonville. They had set records as individuals and were about to set one as a team.

Not only would 19-0 have been a record, it could have been a record that stood FOREVER.

It's painful to revisit Super Bowl XLII. But it's amazing how close the Patriots were, and how many times they let triumph literally slip through there fingers.

Pierre Woods falls on a fumble, rolls over onto his back for some reason and coughs it up.

Asante Samuel comes within inches of picking the ball off and ending the game.

Belichick goes for it on 4th and 13 instead of a long field goal attempt.

1:59 on the clock and the Giants get 9 on 3rd and 10, then Brandon Jacobs rushes for 2 on 4th and 1.

David Tyree's miracle catch.

So close. So much pain... I need a drink.

BOWL PREDICTIONS PART VII

More incorrect predictions of Bowl games. Then again, I'm 15-12 so far, so not that bad. These are the three January 2nd contests.

AT&T Cotton Bowl
Dallas, TX
#25 Ole Miss vs. #7 Texas Tech

What do the Rebels get as a reward for finishing 2nd in the SEC West? A date with 11-1 Texas Tech. The Red Raiders were snubbed out of the BCS so the Big Ten could cram two teams in there and generally waste everyone's time. Crabtree and Harrell will be steaming about not getting Heisman nominations, and Tech will beat the Rebs like it was 1865. In fact, reverse that for the final score. TTU 65, Ole Miss 18.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Memphis, TN
Kentucky vs. East Carolina

ECU's actually had a solid season. They beat #19 Virginia Tech, West Virginia, and Tulsa. Kentucky, on the other hand, was 2-6 in the SEC, and 6-6 overall. Those 4 non-conference wins that got them to bowl eligibility? @ Louisville, Norfolk State, Middle Tennessee, Western Kentucky. The Pirates pillage Kentucky 31-14.

AllState Sugar Bowl
New Orleans, LA
#4 Alabama vs. #6 Utah

The Crimson were one win away from a national title shot. Utah, well the Utes did everything a team can do to get into the national title game. Utah actually might be the 2nd best team Alabama will play all season. They beat #11 TCU, and #16 BYU. They also beat Oregon State, which USC couldn't do. I honestly think Utah will win this one, but I can't pick against Alabama. GO BAMA! ROLL TIDE!